The second she said her name it was gone, slipped through the sieve of my awareness and vanished into the deep abyss. Gone. And yes, forgotten. “Was it Sarah? Susan? No, that was yesterday… something like… no!” The more I tried to remember it the further it went. Once again I found myself embarrassed, having to ask her for something she had just told me. How I hated myself.
Of all the words we hear it is our own name we unconsciously respond to the most. Even at a loud cocktail party, through all the noise of people talking and music playing, we can hear our friend shouting our name from the other side of the room. It is the most precious word to us. When we hear our name we pay attention. That we have to pay for it is an appropriate way of phrasing it, since attention has a high value—it costs energy. An ancient part of our brain constantly scans the environment. Is it a threat? Can I mate with it? Can I eat it? All of these options cost energy. And since energy has value most of the time the old part of our brain prefers to ignore things. At the cocktail party our brain also allows us to ignore and almost mute all the other people around us and focus on the person in front of us. But when our friend calls our name from the other side of the room we listen.