More than a few people approached me at MAGIC Live and asked if I was carrying a journal. I said, “Of course!” and proudly displayed it from my purse. These people also inquired about how I’ve maintained a daily practice for nearly nine years. A consistent remark was something to the effect of, “Wow, you’re so disciplined.” It felt off… wrong somehow. It led me to ask myself if it is indeed true that I’m disciplined, because it certainly doesn’t feel that way.
When I was a child learning magic, my mentor Armando Lucero implored me to practice more. My scripting was prolific, but my sleights were sometimes lackluster. “If only you put the same energy into your moves as you do writing…” was a common conversation. Back then, it seemed like I wasn’t disciplined enough.
By age 15, I got into the swing of things a bit more easily. Once I actively began to develop my skills, the practice was all encompassing. Coins never left my hands, and I got in trouble in school every time I’d drop one and it’d clang off the metal desk to the linoleum floor. The work was passionate. There was no second thought. Although in retrospect, it still didn’t feel like discipline.